Sophia Revealed

   Sophia, the goddess behind what we call mother Earth. A great cosmic force of creation that has become trapped in a dream she herself has created. If you want more details I suggest looking into John Lamb Lash. He has been uncovering what he believes to be some of Earths true history by interpreting Gnostic texts. Namely what has become known as the Dead Sea Scrolls I believe. I found his information to be intriguing to say the least.

   This is especially true with what are known as the Archons. They are the gatekeepers of our collective dreaming. They are said to have two forms. One is reptilian and the other is what is described as looking like an aborted fetus with large eyes.  Sound familiar to anyone who has even remotely studied the UFO phenomenon? They have high jacked our reality some time ago. Now I am not saying everything that people have seen as UFOs or that every being someone has described as otherworldly are these Archons, however the possibility of their existing is worth considering. Mainly because if what is said of them is true then we are in fact farm animals that have been harvested for the vast amounts of energy we produce when in certain states of overwhelming emotion. It is said they feed off of us like parasites. That they influence certain people by invading their very thoughts and causing them to wreak havoc and then "harvest" the energy that is released thereon into the Ether so to speak. Or perhaps even induce entire populations to have certain thought streams that produce fear and anxiety, especially in respect to sex.

   Sex is one of the ultimate expressions of creation if not the ultimate as far as our level of awareness is concerned anyway. So what has been done with this amazing and wonderful gift? It is either suppressed causing imbalance or it is indulged with no regaurd with the profound impact it has on the people involved causing imbalance. Either way there tends to be a predator prey relationship (think of what 50 shades of grey books are probably about). Now I am not one to tell anyone how they should behave if everyone involved is willing and no one is hurt. However this type of relationship in varying degrees seems to dominate(pardon the pun) pretty much the world over. This I believe is merely a symptom of a much larger psycholigcal/spritual problem.

   Now I have been told that the concept of Archons is merely a way of scapegoating aspects of humanity that are unfavorable. I must say I do not think it is an excuse for bad behavior by any stretch, we are all ultimately responsible for our own actions. The law of freewill dictates as much. There is always a choice. We can consider however where these choices are coming from. Where does the very idea of needing to dominate stem from? More on this later perhaps.

 
  

BATHTUB MEDITATIONS

Lately I have been conducting what I call my bathtub meditations. I turn on the hot water and when I say hot, I mean that I make it as friggn' hot as my body can withstand. I then submerse myself as much as I can and try different breathing techniques. Sometimes I sit up; all different kinds of things until I start getting the results I desire. This is of course connecting with my higher-self or whatever term you wish. Oh I also use a chunk of quartz crystal that I found in my house to help me tune in. I'm not sure where I got it exactly but it seems like I might have picked it up on a trip to Colorado Springs years ago and just forgot about it.

   Anyway I hold the quartz in my hand often switching from one to the other changing the way I hold it until it "feels right". Well I have to say for my at least this is a powerful way to tune into the energies around me. A word of caution though, if you are not practiced at meditating and focusing your mind (which I am not) this can be an intense experience. Sometimes negative emotions and thoughts surface which brings me to something else I want to say.

   For any of those out there that have thoughts of "ending it" and feel like they just can't handle the negativity of the world and their own thoughts, I have this to say. Stay with that pain. Work it out in your mind and your heart. Don't push it away or push it down. It doesn't go away, so just let it come and when you feel like you can't take it any longer ask for more. You are capable of so much more than you think is possible and the first thing to overcome is also sometimes the hardest. The idea of your own limitation. Trust me this is something of which I am very familiar.

   Now I would like to relate one of the messages I have gotten since doing these meditations. Sometimes it is so much all at once I can scarce remember all of it. However I know these positive messages are remembered deep inside replacing all of the self defeating, fear base thoughts that have been locked inside over the past 30 years. of my life. So here it is.

   The first thing that comes to my mind is that chaos tears things apart right? Well chaos also tears itself apart; there is no such thing as organized chaos. This is one of the reasons that the elite can not win. It's really funny if you think about it. I cracked up when this came into my head. Now I know some of you may say well there are the negative ET's that have been that way for eons. Why haven't they destroyed themselves yet?

   The answer is this; they do not have the creative potential we in these human bodies possess. We in these little "unevolved" 3 dimensional bodies can connect with primordial, universal energies like no other. We are a mix of different races and have potential never before seen in this galaxy. There is a cosmic game being played here on this planet. It is a microcosm of the greater galactic conflict. Earth is a startegic battle ground holding many resources and a powerful weapon;us. The funny thing is we are such powerful conduits for these energies that even if the negative ET's won total control of us they would still lose. We would embody the gods of death and destruction to a point of becoming a swirling blackhole of chaos, taking those poor foolish bastards with us; probably many others besides. This will not be allowed to happen.

mr. PANTAGES

Mr. Pantages walks through the ages never giving up on human graces. Of evolution he's watched the stages.
One after the other has has seen empires rise and fall. He's seen Sumer,Babylon,Persia,Greek and Rome;he's seen them all.
There isn't much he hasn't been through. If you say "It's the END!" He'll shrug and smile. "If you only knew that there's nothing new."
If you scream "Oh my God the antichrist has come! "He'll laugh slapping his knee and say "Ha-ha well the first time I did run but again my child I say it's all been done!"
"You see fear is from that which you do not know. Ignorance is the string which bends Fears loathesome, ebony bow."
"This is what is important for you to remember; that what you bake is what you make and what you make had better be bread. What you don't make is what is fake and what is fake will certainly leave you dead. Dead is dead, no more bread."
That is the way he is in all things, he lets truth bring what truth brings and all other things are just that; things.
Make no mistake though he has no vested interest in you. For what are you but nothing new?
He's seen your face before and he's heard your questions before, so it does no good for you to implore. You will not get what you came for.

He exclaims. "There is one grace I have never known and that is Death! I long for her like a soldier longs for his lover breath."
"It is the only fear and enticing experience I have left to suffer for. I know not how to meet her embrace, call her name or ever open her boney damp door."
"So you see it is I that you should feel empathy for. It's not the whore bleeding in the street and not the child looking for something to eat. They will find sson enough what I shall never have but only adore,adore and adore, forevermore."

GHOSTLY COMPANION

   I am going to talk about my ghostly companion. I don't care who see this I need to tell someone, so I will speak it to the wind so to speak. Since my "activation" a couple of months ago now I seem to be in contact with something. I am still diseminating who or what it is exactly but it is like a guiding voice that seems to come from the back of my skull where the skull meets the spinal column. Now a psychologist might say it is my subconciouse. A mystic might say it is my higher-self. Some may even  say it is a being that hails from another star system or indeed another dimension. Finally others would probably say I am making it all up to make my self feel important. As far as that last one goes all I can say is if that is true I am not doing it conciously.

   This voice is usually playful. It is never angry or judgmental in anyway. The funny thing too is when I am having a conversation with this voice inside my head; little synchronostic things pop up. It could be a song on the radio I hear as I pass by it or a set of numbers from any number of places. Sometimes it is even actual "signs" if you like. On the side of a vehicle or on a billboard. These things that pop up usually have some fairly direct meaning or referencce to what I am thinking when I see it or hear it. At first I was alarmed. Like am I going crazy? Is it real? If it is real then what the hell does that mean about the reality we think we're living in? Now "crazy" people don't tend to wonder if they're crazy; they just are. I don't think I am but I am open to the possibility and that may be the thing that saves me from going over the deep end,HA!

   If this is real and our reality is much more pliable than we might imagine what do we do with that? Manifest abundance? Save the World? Manifesting abundance is fine but what then? Also for those that think that manifesting abundance doesn't affect others I say just look at the wealthy people of the world. I am sure they know abundance; do you not think their abundance is having perhaps a negative consequence on the world? Yes the Universe is infinite but it is also fractured, cut up into an infinite number of smaller pieces. Our conciouness lives in a limited reality and therefore limited energy field. I think this manifesting your reality shit has been released to cause chaos. Everyone pulling on the energy field at the same time for seflish,self serving reasons.

   Then on the other hand is saving the world. How do we do that? Send positive messages to others using our thoughts? What if the person is an asshole and we don't know it? All of a sudden they get this rush of happy feelings or whatever after doing something terrible and we just helped out a negative person. Maybe we send thoughts to heal mother earth? Well what if mother earth would feel much better if your fucking house was torn to shit by a tornado?

   Look, I am not trying to be a downer and piss on the parade of those trying to exist of light and love but I just have been wondering about these things. Our minds are powerful things and cosmic energy is not something to take lightly. Sometimes I just wonder if we aren't like little children playing with high voltage elctricty not really knowing what the consequnces are. I think people are trying to get ahead of themselves with this cool and probably totally true revelation about how our minds are connected to the world around us. I think we should concentrate on bettering ourselves inside before worrying about anything "external"

   I realize I am getting off track since I began this post by talking about the voice in my head but I have a feeling that it/he/she/me would like this to be the thought of the day today and I'll get back to figuring out the nature of the voice itself some other time.

PEACE,LOVE,INFORMATION
  

WHATEVER COMES OUT

This will be an attempt @ automatic writing. Whatever comes out may be gibberish but so what the only one probably listening is myself. Here we go.

All is one and one is all. What do we see as we come to the fall? Is it clear; no it is hazy and unfocused as a man half blind? The choice is ours. We have made it many times before resulting in more of the same. We were not ready yet time and time again. Are we now? It is hard to say but say it I will. I am ready I want the oceans to be blue; I want the sky to be a perpetual twilight. The dead will be dead and not wondering lost and cold. The halls of records will be teeming with those hungry for knowledge. I want this and I want to be free. I am sovereign this I know but sometimes it is hard to believe. What makes this window so dirty? I wash and wash and it never seems to get clean. All the people who are "crazy" simply having trouble processing new information that doesn't fit tightly woven lye of their existence. I want to fracture this god damn illusion into a million unrecognizable pieces. To free all others that wish to see. We are here waiting, waiting for what? Waiting for whom? Ourselves. There is no other out there! It is all just us spinning out in infinity. Dancing in the light and dancing in the dark but always dancing and playing games. Well this game gives me nightmares and chills I am seeing monstrosities in my dreams. Always have but I no longer want to. They are deformed and locked in chains. Misshapen experiments long ago conducted and they are stuck there. They want to be free but God what if we free them? What happens then? Do they turn into beautiful angels of light?

Next attempt that stream has ended and now for another. Trying to shine but finding it trying. Sometimes it comes so easy to smile at the sun and sometimes I feel beaten down by its oppressive sweltering heat. Fire in the sky that makes up most of the matter in the solar system. Not some giant furnace. It is alive. Smiling devilishly at us its little creations. It did indeed create our bodies out of clay or rather the elements of the earth. Interpretations taken too literal always seem to fuck things up. Stop taking everything so damn literal. It is what it is and you will only see what you want to see. What fits your infantile frame of reference? Damn I feel exposed right now going to put this out into the Ethernet. But oh well. Who is there to ridicule? Who else has the courage to sputter out the maddening thoughts that swirl their mind? I know many are just as confused as me and any who say they aren't are just lying to themselves. I can see it. I see it on their faces everyone waiting for the collapse and inevitable tidal wave of energy. Either drown or ride this cosmic wave! I will ride. I am tired of cowering. I am tired of curling up into a little stone. Stones just sink! I will not get trapped under the sediment for millions of years again! I refuse. That is not why I am here. I am here!!

A New Day A New Dawn

Oh a new day and a new dawn! How long has this been going on?

How long have I wrapped myself up in this shadow cocoon? Seeing no light not even the Moon?

My darker-self all the while, arms wrapped around nice and tight. Keeping my higher-self, plainly out of sight.

I see now through the cracks in this shell. Beautiful light penetrating this maddening, self made hell.

Perhaps even my darker-self and higher-self are the same glorious being. A cosmic mirror that only shows me that which I believe is worth seeing.

It's time now for all side to come back into the one. I am tired of artificial light, now I want the sun!

To bask and to bathe until all I see are rays and rays.

I want to sing out from the very core of my being "Glory,glory,glory to the Ultimate, PRIME creative force. Humbly I thank you for the alpha, the omega and everything in between of course!"

To all other sentient life in the multi-verse. Thank you for being a part of me as I am a part of you. Thank for allowing me this life and this opportunity to be myself in just the way that I am. This once in infinity collection of memories, personality, mind, body and soul. All the good and all the bad I am finally learning to accept it all and I am absolutely grateful for everything!

LOVE is the only absoulute TRUTH!

The dark Folly of our ever complex, morphological containment

   The human mind designed to be a rich tapestry of unending,ever-unfolding and interlocking possibles has been nearly completely reduced to a single frame. This rigid picture depicting an overly complicated toilet over flowing with feces, expired pharmaceuticals and an obsessive bulimics regurgitated binge birthday cake. Thoughts have been replaced by noisy, brain squeezing 10 second sound bytes bought, paid for and recycled by everyone. Our most basic and primordial self serving animal instincts are portrayed as wisdom and good living. High jacked, free jacked, slap jack and flap jack are words that should from now on be used to describe our thoughts.

   Who is the perpetrator or perpetrators;the dark being or beings so hell bent on spreading evil and destroying humankind? Why it's the ones who have always been here with us. The ones we can simply not escape. The ones who have made it their holy war to destroy as many of us as possible all the while hiding, forever afraid of being found by the light of truth. It is....wait for it. Us.

   We are our own insects in glass jars screaming to be free yet obsessed with watching something scurry around in futile attempts to free itself. Absurd and laughably interchangeable attempts at defining GOD periodically overwhelm and enthrall entire generations for generations and generations. These definitions becoming shadowy guardians baring grizzly grins around every dark corner of our suppressed almost non-existent self understanding.

   That is the bad news. We have no enemy. There is no one over there, under there, somewhere far far away the we must forever seek out. No dragons my children and no fucking DEVIL aside from the one within. You want to see a monster? Take a good long, hard look in the mirror and don't be surprised when your reflection grabs you by the head and smashes your face; creating thousands of fragmented reflections of yourself.

   The good news is now you know. There, now don't you feel better? No? Well it doesn't matter if you believe me. The universe will work itself out. Always has and always will. existence is bore of it's own necessity or the necessity of non-existence to be defined by its essence. Maybe there is no such thing as non-existence in the ultimate sense. Maybe everything exists all at the same time in different places across infinity. In which case we are all infinite. So relax and forget what I said. just put it out of your mind and go back to your sound bytes.